Real time, changes, and goodbye

2018-01-08_05-19-34I just watched a video from Friday.

I was supposed to watch it live, but internet in the country is bubkis so I couldn’t. Then again, very little in my life happens in real time anymore.

I watch “live feeds” on fb days after they’ve posted. Texts might not get to me for hours. I watch my favorite television shows when I can.

Shrug, some things just aren’t important manage in real time. I do get back to the texts as soon as I see them, though.

There are things which happen in real time. Climbing under the desk to hide with E when she asks, taking N and my g-d kids to the pool to play, checking in on Mom and Dad, watching basketball practice to make sure I can tell N something awesome she did, thanking Nik for doing something I needed to do before I could ask.

Maybe I should back up.

Much of the time out in the country over the last year or so, has been spent with someone I knew a lifetime ago. When Frank and I split up – my request, not his, but he agreed and is happier now – Nik helped pick up the pieces and figure out what was next. Chilly nights by the fire place, talking, tears from both of us, more talking and then some, helping in the garage, working on the house, long nights under the stars, hot days by the creek, wild four-wheeler trips, the quiet of the garden, the sound of laughter – my laughter again – the pieces fell into place.

His dad’s comment of “Court’s around an awful lot.” was met with a “Dad, shit hit the fan in the best possible way and we’re riding it out to see what’s next.”

Turns out what was next was him and the country. And then his girls.

I met them over the summer and we all hit it off. We’re spending a lot of time together and when I’m not around, they ask him where I am and/or when I’ll be back. We’re all adjusting to changes. A LOT of changes.

One of the biggest for me is stepping back from the pool. I’ve turned over my supervisory shifts, stopped teaching group classes and am winding down my private lessons. When that’s all done, I’ll be just working enough to keep Dad’s membership and helping out when I can.

I’m going to miss my kiddos there, but Nik will share his with me.

I think it also means an end to this space here. I’ve loved our time together but I don’t know if I feel like writing. “Baking in my Bathing Suit” just doesn’t fit and much like an actual bathing suit that doesn’t fit, I find it chafing and constraining to be here.  I can’t write here anymore.

If I end up writing somewhere else, I’ll stop by to let you know where to find me.

Until we meet again. If we’re meant to, we will.

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About Court

I spend a lot of time on the pool deck and making treats in my kitchen amongst other things.
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3 Responses to Real time, changes, and goodbye

  1. Missy says:

    Please don’t stop writing! I love to hear your ups and downs, and you put alot of stuff into prospective. A new phase in your life is wonderful, but without your past you would of never made it here. I love you Cout, stay HAPPY..

  2. Annie says:

    Biggest hugs, Court… so very happy for you. The only constant in our lives is change, and these changes in yours are positive and wonderful, and I am THRILLED for you! It warms this mama’s heart to read this post😘
    I DO hope you continue to write, when the time is right. I don’t often comment, but I so look forward to your posts.

  3. Sue Rock says:

    I’m a little sad to see this space end, but so very happy for you that the pieces are coming back together. Puffy pink heart you, always.

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