I didn’t buy the pretty day planner and here’s why…

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Part of my little bit of downtime last weekend
A cozy sweatshirt, hot chocolate with extra marshmallows
and a commissioned project

It’s the end of the year and it always inspires me to be an overall “better” person. To get more done, to do it better, to be more organized, to eat better, to blah blah blah {insert random thing I see as a deficit in myself here}.

See, I want to be a super put together, healthy eater who only enjoys desserts in moderation once a week, really organized, stylish, etc person who does everything she’s supposed to do and excels at everything she tries while still keeping my good and happy heart, love, humor, and natural joie de vivre. (I maybe don’t have realistic expectations of myself, I’m willing to admit that.)

I could probably go through this blog and find lots of “Tried to do something better or challenging for myself and it fell by the wayside” sort of things and we’re not going to because it makes me feel bad. Why does it make me feel bad? Because it makes me feel like I have little stick-to-it-ness (which is sort of true) or that I’m not a competent human being. I find proof in how often I fail at things move on from things and when I think about it, it can be a little disheartening.

I was looking at a fancy schmancy day planner the other day. It was so very pretty. It had organizational tabs, pockets for things, a contact section, stickers, and calendars! It made the office supply geek in my so happy and excited. In my head I thought I could be organized! I could look more professional! I could…I could…but my heart didn’t agree.

Even thought it was on sale, it got returned to the shelf with a chuckle because as much as I told myself that I could use it to be organized and what not, I know in my heart that Google does that for me and carrying around a paper one wasn’t going to make me look more put together if there was nothing in it.  Silly me. Other people’s organizational systems don’t work for me, I shouldn’t force myself into one.

Admitting that to myself was something I consider personal growth – like when I backed out of the craft show last weekend because so much came up and something had to give. The $25 registration fee I was out was worth the bit of sanity I took back.

It sometimes dawns on me I can’t do everything or be everything I might want to be or do and that’s a bit of a hard pill to swallow. I’m a capable human being, damnit, why can’t do just do everything??!?!?!

I’m getting better though. What have you recently admitted to yourself that you might not be able to do?

Reporting in for weigh in day: I’m down 4 lbs and half an inch from each thigh, hips, and waist. My arms and neck have stayed the same and I didn’t measure my bust this morning because I’ve already put on a over the shoulder boulder holder and it has a bit of padding. The girls feel a bit smaller though so there’s that. 

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About Court

I spend a lot of time on the pool deck and making treats in my kitchen amongst other things.
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2 Responses to I didn’t buy the pretty day planner and here’s why…

  1. Sue says:

    I’d be so sad if my girls got smaller.

    Perhaps you should focus on allnthe stuff you do keep up with and/or finish? I mean, there’s a ton.

    Also, “style” is how we express our own uniqueness. So don’t force yourself into anyone else’s definition of style. You’re completely fabulous the way you are.

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