(Whoops this got long. Oh well.)
When I was leaving the painting event Saturday, I looked at my dashboard clock and it hit me that I had received news of Lance’s passing 10 years and 1 hour before that particular moment. There are some moments you never forget and I have a feeling I’ll never forget the moment I read Matt’s away message. (Thinking about it still requires a deep breath.)
A full decade ago. And sometimes it still feels like yesterday.
As I drove home, I got to thinking that I couldn’t have imagined that day, that life would turn out how it has. I was a little lost, figuring out who I was and wanted to be. Looking back, I don’t know that I liked her very much to tell you the truth. I think it’s worked out okay though.
I’m incredibly lucky to say that some of my best friends are still by my side sharing our experiences, wine, laughs, and lives. I am beyond grateful to have them in my life and that they share their lives with me. I’m thankful that my family and friends are doing well and are healthy and safe. My parents are alive and healthy. My family (extended, genetic and generic) remains close. I absolutely love that some of my cousins are my very best friends. I’m proud to say that I’m still touching lives and teaching people to swim and trying to make the world a little bit better for others one moment at a time.
There are other differences though. I mean we’ve traded AIM for Google Chat for crying out loud! Google quickly took over my life, how about yours?
Bigger changes include the fact that our grandmothers are watching us all from above instead of across the room. I left a job I loved (working for someone I didn’t) to go to a job I don’t love always but work with someone I respect and really like. The job change allowed me to explore my creative side more and as trite as it might sound, I feel more grounded and well rounded because of it. (And not just because I bake a lot more!) I’ve added some amazing people to my circle and can’t really remember life without them. I found someone that I trusted enough to let into my heart and find myself married, with a house and working on the kid part.
Smaller differences though might be more interesting to think about. Technology has reshaped our lives and communication. I was blogging, but it wasn’t in any sort of community interactive sort of way. Now, I’ve made incredible friends through blogging and I’m glad I kept it up.
My main mode of communication now is texting or a quick email. It’s more convenient, less intrusive if you will, for something quick. It isn’t without it’s faults though and there are miscommunications, scary hour texts and those that when received from certain people at certain hours, I get scared that something is very wrong.
Perspective changes a lot in 10 years, too. For instance, I would have been making a concerted effort to eat more sensibly and shed a few pounds not for my health and for the possibility of bringing a new life into ours, but to fit in my favorite bar jeans. I’m both more (house bills) and less worried (stable jobs, more skills to use to make more if needed) about money. Emails are still great don’t get me wrong, but snail mail is even better. I think I’ve come to understand what I’m worth in this life, but I try to give more.
There have been a lot of moments in the last 10 years that have shown me what really matters – love, family and friendship, good deeds, letting go of hurt and anger, being kind to both others and myself and putting more good into the world than bad. I can honestly say that I’m thankful for both the good and bad that life has handed me over the years because it’s brought me here to my life today.
Not to brag or tempt fate to take it away, life is pretty good and I’m thankful to be in a really good place. [Knock on wood.]
How have the last 10 years changed for you?