No, I’m not pregnant. Don’t get excited and/or terrified about that possiblity. Moving on.
Frank’s sister had a baby late last night (Congrats again to Veronica and Ben!) and we were talking about having kids in general. I told Frank that I was scared of it, but that he couldn’t guess why. He made a few guesses, that included things like “royally messing them up” “getting the baby out” and “being a bad parent” but none of those were right.
I’m terrified of the actually being pregnant part. No no, really, hear me out.
- I struggle with accepting body as it is. I get that this shouldn’t be an issue, but I fear that I”m going to have a really hard time being bigger (even short term) than I need to be. Yes I know this is a control issue thing,
- The barfing. I hate barfing with a passion because once it starts it won’t stop. I throw up a few times a month without being pregnant and I really really hate it and am borderline scared of it happening. I can only imagine how bad this will be for me.
- All the judgement. Holy buggers Batman, have you ever read the comments on a “Mommy Blog”? Every decision is ripped apart, every choice criticized. Am I going to be able to take it when I’m eating my vegetarian sushi with Sue and getting side glances and glares? How about everything from family and friends? I’m hard enough on myself (true) I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle all the extra special criticism.
So there you have it. Why I’m terrified to actually be pregnant. Have you had a baby? What was the scariest part for you? If you haven’t had a kid yet, is there anything that scares you?