Hi there. How are you? I’m a little grumpy actually. Maybe it’s Whoremones, but there are a couple of questions I’m kind of tired of answering so I’m going to go on the record and put it here.
- Why aren’t you taking Frank’s last name? Because I don’t want to. I am attached to my last name, it makes me literally a One and Only and it makes identifying telemarketers easy. Don’t worry, my hope-to-be-future children will know who their mother is…and if Frank want’s to take my last name, he’s welcome to do so.
- What does your wedding dress look like? What do you mean you’re not sure yet?!? Look. I’m having a Picnic with a Judge, my invites went out with Sock Monkeys and Robots on them and I arranged for 250 balloons worth of helium. I’m not worried that I haven’t picked out my dress (It’s narrowed down to 2 of them, neither of them is totally white. One is green and one is white with red polka-dots). Chill.
- You’re making the cupcakes for your wedding? Yes, I am. It’s not really that many. I know it’s a little crazy and I’m ok with that. For those of you who want to know why? I’m doing it because personally, I (and my g-d mother) think I do a better job than the bakeries locally do. One makes dry cupcakes. One uses frosting I don’t like. I’m picky about my cupcakes and know I like my own. It won’t take me that long to bake/frost/decorate 200 cupcakes. Don’t you worry about it. Knock on wood nothing freaky happens.
So that’s it. I’m happy to entertain other questions if you have them, just don’t ask me those. Please.