I started writing a post that quickly lead to very negative thoughts towards myself so I saved it to drafts and am starting over.
I’m struggling with some things mostly having to do with weight loss, body image, some jealousy and thinking about it makes me want to cry. Maybe I’m coming down with something, maybe my allergies are sneakily getting the best of me (quite possible based on the eczema outbreak I currently am rocking), maybe I’m just overwhelmed and I don’t know why.
I don’t know.
I do know a few things though and I will focus on them until I can figure out or just feel better about whatever is going on to make me feel so down. I know these things about myself and my life with every part of my being.
- My bosses think I’m doing a good job at my work. They’ve let me establish some of my own big goals for the upcoming 18 months. One of them is a writing project and the other is product development and marketing. Knock on wood nothing happens to change the view they have of me and my work, but I generally work hard and have a long view of what we do which they appreciate. I’m a lucky girl that they gave me a chance and continue to take risks on me.
- I have some truly amazing friends. Friends that know you’re unfit for the general populous but still insist that they’re taking you for sushi to cheer you up. Friends that know you don’t want a bachelorette party, but insist that a few drinks the night before your wedding is going to happen – but also are ok with it if those drinks happen at home while crafting. Friends that although they’re barfing their guts out are working on artwork for your wedding invitations and other elements of a very special day. Friends that pray, think positive thoughts and send good vibes so hard for your Nanny that even she is starting to believe that there’s something to “the whole prayer of the masses thing” (her words) because within days of the prayers, good vibes and positive energy being sent, she had a complete turn around. I’m a lucky girl to have these amazing people in my life.
- That guy I like and am going to marry has been taking good care of me while I’ve been struggling. It’s not fair to him to have to shoulder so much some times, but I’ve been having a hard time and he’s doing a good job. I’m a very lucky girl to have found someone who cares about me, thinks I’m cute and likes me even though I don’t like myself sometimes.
What do you KNOW?