But I’m making progress.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “But how can you be making progress when you’re not getting anything you wanted to get done, done?”
Previously, you would have been right. You would have been totally dead on right and I would be kicking myself in the ass and beating myself up about it. I would have some very harsh words for myself and thoughts that I wouldn’t tolerate being thought about a friend, but think about myself.
Yet here I sit at the end of the month and I’m ok with the fact that my dirty laundry is on the floor next to my laundry basket, my my February goal recap is going to suck, our apartment still isn’t as done as I’d like it, and my pants are tighter than I’d like. Today though? Today I’m ok with it.
I’ve been insanely busy at work. I’ve experienced a great and profound loss. I’ve been on the go constantly all month and stressed out because I didn’t know how I was going to pull it all off. But when I look back at what I have accomplished this month, none of the rest seems to matter. I’ve managed to do the following: be done with one major work project and half done with another, get our apartment into a good enough for now state, pay my bills for the month, and pull myself together and find acceptance with my loss. I’ve managed a dance recital, hosted brunch, visited with family and friends, and gotten a little rest when I needed it. I’ve done what I can to make sure the people I love know and feel that I love them.
Life isn’t about getting to the finish line with all your ducks in a row, your house perfectly maintained and being your ideal weight – at least not to me (anymore). Sometimes it’s about doing the best you can, accepting that “perfection” isn’t going to happen and cutting yourself some fricken slack.
I’m calling this month a win. (knock on wood, there are a couple days left!)