Coffee date


Sometimes you have to laugh because the alternative is to just cry.
Coffee had just come out of my nose.

Hi there, thanks for joining me for a cup of coffee today. I love what you’ve done with your hair. What’s in your cup?

Lately, I’ve been on a cinnamon coffee kick which is convenient because it’s one of the options in the 20 or so coffees my office has stocked. There were extra options though this morning and I couldn’t decide if I should make myself Vanilla Biscotti or Wild Blueberry. My decision was made when I saw the Glazed Chocolate Donut on the shelf.

Sold. I’m not regretting it. Or the second cup.

How’s your week been? I think mine can be summed up by “shit-show”, but I don’t really want to get into it. It’s been exhausting.

I’m fine. To the best of my knowledge my friends and family are alright. Office job is okay. Pool is still filled with water. Less kids though.

Anything new and exciting to report? I’m a little jealous that some of my friends are traveling right now. One friend’s fb feed was filled with pictures of Iceland, another is in Barcelona. Mom is sending me pics from FL of my brother and nephew. (He’s still super cute in case you’re wondering. My nephew, not my brother.)

I was going to go to FL myself, but was told it wasn’t convenient for the office and I couldn’t have the time off in the time frame I asked about. Do you have any fun trips planned? Right now I’m going to have to stick to my trips to Neverland while I read Peter Pan…

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Thursday Three – Things I still do today (but for different reasons) that I did in my younger days…

smiptempJPGLast night after a couple of hours at the pool I headed home, excited to have leftover Chipotle for dinner. I was a little grumpy when I realized that I hadn’t put gas in my car as I intended to do during the day. I meant to go out at lunch, but then didn’t take a lunch. Sigh.

I was also grumpy with myself for not remembering to take pants with me that I could put on after the pool.

After I put about $10 in my car, I hopped back into my seat and smiled. There was a day $10 was a necessity, not a choice. In my 20 min or so drive back to my place, I thought about how different life was now and that got me thinking about the things I still did the same sometimes, but for very different reasons.

  1. Put a small amount of gas in my car. How much gas I put in my car often used to be tied to how much money I had in my account at that time. Not that I have a lot of money now, but I usually don’t have to think about how much is in my account to put gas in my car, for which I’m thankful! Now I’m more likely to consider how cold it is and how long I can stand being outside.
  2. Eat a bowl of frozen veggies and peanut sauce and call it dinner. I used to be seriously calorie/fats conscious and really worried about gaining weight. (I really wanted to get back to a weight that is roughly 60lbs less than I weigh now and the body I had at 15.) I would really limit what I ate. I might pair tofu, some slices of deli turkey, a hard boiled egg , or a string cheese for protein, but I was pretty harsh with myself, and looking back, pretty miserable. Now if I’m eating a bowl of veggies with peanut sauce and calling it dinner? It’s out of pure laziness or exhaustion and usually paired with chicken nuggets, or a whole sammich.
  3. Reach for my dark wash stretchy jeans when getting ready to go out. In college and right after I had some really great dark blue jeans that were my go-tos when getting ready for a night out. They were forgiving, matched everything, and bonus! they made me look thin and my butt look really good! Now, I still reach for my dark wash, stretchy jeans, but while they still match everything and make my butt look good, they’re also forgiving of spills and are really comfortable. Comfort and spill coverage wins.

I’m really lucky (and thankful) to be in a position in my life and heart where I can choose comfort over necessity – it hasn’t always been that way and I’m aware that it might not always be that way. I can only hope I’ve grown enough in the last 15 years that there are more comfortable days than not.

What do you do the same as you did before but for different reasons now?

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This is why I don’t take Nyquil…alternate title, Maybe I should take more Nyquil?

Insomnia hasn’t been stopping by lately, which is awesome, but it also means I’m dreaming more. To say my dreams are vivid would be an understatement. They’re REAL. As in vivid enough that when I wake up sometimes I’m mad at people in my dreams and or have to really think about what took place to figure out if it actually happened.

Since they’re so real, vivid, and can be crazy without any help, I only take things like Nyquil if I really need them to sleep. That stuff takes my dreams to a whole other level of real, vivid, and crazy.

I was fighting a head cold recently and I was so miserable that about 2am I finally caved and took some meds. Luckily, this one wasn’t a bad dream, but it was crazy and felt real…and was wicked fun.

So I was traveling to Boston, which was actually located in Laos (or somewhere, we weren’t far from Phucket, I kept seeing signs advertising for it). Immediately upon landing, I met up with someone I apparently was dating (?) which I’m assuming because we started making out immediately. I really don’t know, but we played tourist for a few days.

It seems my family apparently had a camp/cabin/cottage wherever I was but I wasn’t staying there, only stopping by for dinner every day or so. One day, boyfriend dude and I were playing tourist on a beach near a forest taking pictures, frolicking in the surf, and just being goofballs. We looked over and saw kids being rounded up and seemingly snatched up into dark green cargo vans.

We were arguing about what to do when the kidnappers realized we saw them and started chasing us!

Have you seen Night at the Museum? (Love those movies.) The kidnappers looked like the Huns with ponytails and black polo shirt/slack get ups and a slightly cartoonish vibe. They weren’t actually scary, but we felt the need to run.

So we ran. And ran. Thorough the weird city by the forest and beach, down alleys, through crowds, and crossing streets in front of weird stacked trucks until we got to  my families cottage and barricaded ourselves in with a 150 year old dresser thingie.

Phew. Safe from the weird cartoonish well groomed Huns, thank you old dresser thing.

While we regrouped, my aunt realized I was wearing a bikini and my running shoes and not much else. It was getting cooler so she took me her LuLaRoom to find clothes to wear and instructions to take whatever I needed. Her collection was impressive. It sort of reminded me of this picture, but on 3 instead of just one wall.

from here
Ultimately, I woke up right after I pulled some clothes on and made out with boyfriend dude again so I don’t really know if this dream had a good or bad ending, but it was a fun one while it lasted.

I knew this one was a dream while it was going on because while I know who the guy was in my dream, he’s not someone I’d ordinarily consider making out with…nor would I be running through some unknown city in a bikini. Or wearing on in the first place.

Have any good/bad dreams lately?

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Coffee Date


I’m almost too adorable to eat. Almost.

Well, hello there. Thanks for joining me for a cup of coffee. How are you today? Are you doing anything for St. Patrick’s Day? I have to be up early tomorrow so I’ll be celebrating 3/17 with laundry! And maybe Lucky Charms.

So what’s in your cup? I have cinnamon with coconut creamer. I don’t usually like cinnamon flavor, but whatever they’re using in the coffee seems to work.

I’d like to thank those who reached out to me to make sure I was okay after yesterday’s post. I would like to assure you that I’m pretty good, I was just writing it out as a reminder to me and to share after coming through a tough time (as a friend said to me yesterday, “Damn biology”). This stuff happens, we weather storms. Let’s move on.

How about we talk about the fun gluten free dessert that work arranged for when a dear friend retired. That’s a Mousse Mouse from Villa Italia. (Well that’s what I call them, I don’t know what they call them.) It’s a gluten free almond cookie base, chocolate mouse dipped in dark chocolate shell. Quite tasty for chocolate.

I may have eaten 3. I’m glad I didn’t give up treats for Lent.

Speaking of Lent, I’d like to report that my peanut butter ban during Lent is going well! The running isn’t going as well, but it’s um, going. I recently switched bedrooms so I’ve been going though clothes as I put stuff back in my dresser. I’m well on task to give and throw away 40 items. I’ve been trying to up my  nice things and I think I’ve been doing okay with that, but I haven’t been working on finishing projects. I just don’t have the desire to pick up projects these days. I have 2 blankets started that I HAVE to finish for upcoming baby showers, but other than that, I’m feeling meh about crocheting currently.

It’ll pass, it always does. Instead, I’ve been doing more photo shopping and reading. Doesn’t Brody look handsome and smart?

How’s your Lent going?

I hope you have a lovely day and weekend, I have to run for now. Let me know what you’ve been up to and anything fun you have going on!

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Thursday Three – Ways I get through tough days


I’m not always happy.
Sometimes I’m really gloomy until I do something to fight it back.

I was recently asked how I stay so happy. Honestly, I see it as a choice. I can let the crap get me down or I can find the happy in each day – even if it takes some work.

Some days it’s harder to fight than others. It’s a given in this weird, sometimes twisted, interesting, but also wonderful world we live in. Lately though, there’s been more of the seemingly not so good going on. (I’m talking general. While I’ve had a rough few days,  hopefully it was mostly from getting glutened and sorting itself out.)

I get it. I do. There’s some shit out there to deal with. And holy crap, politics, world events, and icky people don’t help matters.

So when I’m struggling, here’s a few things I do

  1. I think about the people who are there for me and why I love them. My family and friends are fiercely supportive, loving, protective, kind, funny, ridiculous people. Thinking about some of my favorites brings a smile to my face.
  2. I write down happy thoughts, things I’ve accomplished recently, or good things about a particular day. Doing this helps shift my mind set. Even if the best part about a day is that I didn’t get by a bus, that’s a good thing! (If I’m having a hard time doing this, I will ask someone else for the best part of their day. I’m often lifted by other’s happy moments and successes. I feel like it’s just a matter of time before it’s “my turn”.)
  3. I reach out to others who may also be struggling and/or check in on people I love. Even lending an ear to someone who may need it more than I do helps. It might be a distraction or a change in perspective, but it gets me out of my own head.

Those are the biggest ones that help the most. There’s other things too though. I might do something active. Yoga, a swim, a run, or yard work. Sometimes I cut down branches.


Tony the T-Rex had seen better days.
So some silver spray paint made him look all badass again.

I go to my happy places. Most often I pick up a favorite book, find something funny on the internet or pictures of cute animals (#brodsmontana). I might bake something from Mehmere’s collection, cheat at making spaghetti sauce or go shopping and buy something in every color like Nanny. I might color, crochet, spray paint something to give it a new life, or any number of crafty things. Or take a nap. (I find that happy places and naps are good preemptive measures.)

I also know that the bad feelings are temporary and they don’t define me. Sometimes taking a deep breath and reminding myself of that helps the most.

What do you do when you’re going through a tough spell?

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Garth and Wicked.


At no point was I disappointed with his show.

If I were to tell you that there aren’t words to describe this weekend, it wouldn’t be entirely true. Parts where “shit show” (2 instructors down, people being pissy, me almost passing out more than once at the pool) and parts were amazing.

Let’s talk about the amazing parts! First up, Saturday night, I went to see Garth Brooks. I can’t even find the words to tell you how awesome it was. If you have the opportunity, go! I’ve been a long time fan of him and didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to see him perform because he retired to raise his kids.

But I got the chance to see him and it was worth it. This write up calls him “masterful” and is pretty representative of how I feel about the show. I loved that he played old favorites, I loved that he loved being there and performing for us, and mostly I love the memories from Saturday night.

(Also, you should check out his opening act Mitch Rossell and Karyn Rochelle. I’ve never met a Mitch I didn’t like and he was great. Karyn Rochelle was pretty good too, but I liked Mitch better.)

After such an amazing night, Saturday, I was feeling really low, anxious, and sad on Sunday. It was a hard day. I was going to paint my dresser light blue but I spent most of the day putzing around instead. Sitting alone with my thoughts in the quiet isn’t always a good place to be so I tried to do something productive. I spent some time cleaning up, going through drawers, etc but then I realized it was time to get ready to go to Wicked with Kelly and everything was all better.

Fotor_148935759458526Kel and I went to Bombers for some early dinner, a pre-show drink, and good old fashioned catching up.She makes such a lovely date. She’s beautiful, funny, and charming! (BTW thanks go to her husband GenWar for arranging the tickets!)

I know Wicked has been well reviewed and everyone loves it, but I was a little skeptical because of my undying love of all things Wizard of Oz related. (How dare they mess with my story?!)

Holy crap, Wicked was impressive. I loved all of it. The scripting was hysterical, the choreography was phenomenal, the sets and the costumes were so well done and fun. I was a little surprised they went steam punk with it, but it worked. If you have the chance, see it. I was wowed several times during the course of the show and it’s hard to wow me in a theater.

The highs from this weekend took me ridiculously high and the lows were wretchedly low, but hopefully as I look back, I only remember the highs and good things.

How was your weekend?

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Five on Friday


It’s a good thing I was done with that coffee, Sammi.

I have no idea why, but I’m compelled to come put some words into this space today. I don’t have anything particularly entertaining, quasi inspirational, or even all that interesting to share. Maybe it’ll make sense by the end of this post.

Without something else cohesive, how about a Friday Five?

  1. I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since Buffy started. Man, I loved her. (And Angel. And Spike. Were you team Angel or Spike?) She was such a big part of college, nights in with friends – Tuesday nights on the corner, NO TALKING ALLOWED except during commercials and if you had to use the bathroom, you better not be in the way of the view of the TV. Man, those boys were hardcore.
  2. I made gf coffee cake last night for a dear coworker’s retirement breakfast today. It calls for a sugar glaze frosting and there’s always a little extra so I put it in my coffee. It was not a mistake. (I based the recipe for the coffee cake on this, but only loosely.) I’ve been baking more when I have reason to and it feels like home.
  3. I’m going to see Garth Brooks tomorrow night and Wicked on Sunday. Yes, I know that’s a lot of excitement. I can do it!
  4. I’ve been missing my grandmothers a lot lately. It’s a weird time of year for me, spring starts so much new, so much I want to tell and share with them, and I haven’t seen many signs of them saying hello lately. Maybe I haven’t been looking? I don’t know. I just know I’m missing them hardcore. (This might be part of the reason I’ve been weepier than usual. The big time glutened we think I got hit with might be part also.)
  5. My birthday is coming up and it feels very weird. I don’t care about the number (I’ll share privately if you’re curious. I don’t want to blow up other’s spots in saying how old we are.), but I don’t know if I want to have one this year. I’ll be out of town for work the day of and I’m feeling really sort of blah about the whole thing. That’s weird because I love a gathering/party and any excuse to have cupcakes! We’ll see what happens.

There you go, five random things for today. I hope you have a great weekend. Anything exciting planned?

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Coffee date


I finally cleaned out the empty boxes from my garage. Rather than bundle them up for garbage day, we burned them. Much better disposal method.

Why hello there! What’s in your cup today? I’m having coconut coffee with hot chocolate mixed in. I needed something a little sweeter today to help get me through. It was so tempting to take the day off from work, but alas, I went in. (Do you ever just want to take a day off?)

I have to tell you that I’m super excited because my new bed is arriving Monday according to Amazon. (But the box and frame will be here on different days. Bummer)

Yes, I bought a bed from Amazon. I’ve been looking for a new bed for months, but just didn’t find anything I considered a good enough deal.

Then my sister in law told me her new box spring arrived from Amazon and it gave me an idea.

I ordered the mattress (which was sent compressed), the box spring (I have to put it together) and frame for less than half of what I was expecting to pay in a store. Let’s hope it’s as good as the reviews! I don’t need something super fancy, just something more comfortable than the guest bed, the couch, or the futon. (All of them are okay to sleep on, but I’d like something better than okay for me at this point in my life. Also I wanted a queen sized bed.)

What’s new in your world? Anything good to report? Do you have any plans this weekend? I have a late day at the pool tomorrow and nothing on Sunday. I’m going to sleep in unless I can convince MsBix to get gf pancakes with me. Last week sleeping in meant until 8:01am, let’s see if we can do a little better this weekend.

What does sleeping in mean to you these days?


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40s for Lent

20130305_092125 Ha. Did that get your attention? No not that kind of 40.Although that did come up in conversation the other day with a dear friend and partner in crime. We’re too old for such things now.

But I did find picture when I was going through my Flickr account looking for something else and I was sort of inspired to try it again. I figured that Lent was coming up, why not?

(I’ve tried this before. I don’t remember how far I got. I think I finished it?)

One year I gave up peanut butter ,one year I gave up meat, one year was unnecessary shopping. (I think the peanut butter was harder than the meat and shopping.)

I’m pretty sure you know by now I’m not a practicing Catholic – more like “recovering”, but if you’re new here, now you know. Why bother with Lent then?  I like the idea of giving up something or using it as an opportunity to better myself. The question becomes, what should I give up or what should I do to better myself?

With a theme of 40, here’s what I aim to do for this Lent.

  • Run 40 miles
  • Do 40 nice things
  • Finish 40 projects that have already been started.
  • Donate 40 items
  • Throw away 40 items
  • Read 40 pages a day (this could be work or free reading)

And I decided that peanut butter and I are taking a 40 day break. As I told a friend the other day when I finished another jar of the magical goodness, “I’m a little embarrassed about how much peanut butter I actually eat.”

Did you give up or add something for Lent? Do you eat as much peanut butter as I do?

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Five on Friday

If you’re here from Coach Daddy, hello! Welcome. Did you participate in the Six Words for Eli? (If you’re not visiting from Coach Daddy, this post is what I’m talking about.)


Thank you. Have a kiss.

So before I get started, I’m fine. Really I am. I’ve just been focused on other things for the last few weeks. Like being good to myself and doing things that make my heart happy. And things like work. Not that work isn’t good, but it doesn’t always make my heart happy. And looking for a more flexible playcheck job that doesn’t require large chunks of Saturday mornings and has staff more willing to work. (Seriously, I don’t get college kids who don’t want to work.)

There’s been a lot out there lately that doesn’t make my heart happy or feel at peace (presidential administration, people who don’t help, germs, people who are intentionally mean to others for no good reason, I could go on, but I’ve been trying to let go of things I can’t control.) but here’s some things that have specifically made my heart happy lately:

  1. Writing in my journal a few times a week with a mug of tea in hand. “Happy” might be the wrong word here, but “free” and/or “peaceful” might be a little better.
  2. Laughing at myself when I do thinks like spill coffee all over the counter at the store. (After I feel terrible about making a mess that is.) Or when I realized I wasn’t actually broken or bleeding after falling down the front steps. I know other people will pick on me for my achem, grace, so why not get my own laughs out of it?
  3. As much as I think about leaving the pool there are good parts! Dear friends midweek visits to bring kiddos to swim, my swim team working so very hard and making me proud, and the amount on the playcheck after working insane hours.
  4. I’ve received a lot of compliments on my tattoos lately. Some from kiddos, some from adults, one lady said, “I had a necklace like that once upon a time!” I told her, “So did my grandma, I used it to design this.” Her pretty blue eyes sparkled as she told me she was pretty sure my grandma would be really proud of me. I may have teared up a bit.
  5. People I love having love and adventure themselves. New babies, trips abroad, new jobs, trying new things, falling in love, people being brave and facing challenges with a can-do attitude and positive outlook.

Having a happy heart and being at peace has become important to me. Sometimes I have to make a conscious choice to do things or find things but I’m lucky to have the friends, family, and resources to make it happen.

What’s made your heart happy lately?

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